The Art of Balance
by Irothohulcap
Summary: Captain America and Black Widow. The beginning of how these two Avengers balance their careers as highly decorated S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, their new family and the challenges that come with both. Please review and feel free to leave any ideas for future chapters!
1. Happy Wife, Happy Life

**Happy Wife, Happy Life**

Life was good. Life was happy. Steve Rogers was happy. Things were good with S.H.I.E.L.D; no one had threatened the earth with tyranny in at least eight months, he'd found love with his fellow Avenger Natasha Romanoff after a lengthy courtship. He had taken care of marrying her soon after. She had then surprised him on his most recent birthday with the news that she was carrying his child. It was by far the best present he'd ever received. By now she was a few months along, and it had been so nice to see his wife so genuinely happy about the future. Especially about something that everyone thought had been rendered impossible.

He couldn't keep the smile off his face as he came that night to see her darting around the kitchen frantically trying to finish cooking dinner. Well, she wasn't darting so much as waddling. By now her stomach had started to grow and her feet had started to swell. The morning sickness was over but she was still prone to the odd moment of queasiness.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I wanted to have it ready before you got home," she said hurriedly. But quickly abandoned what she had been doing to come over and welcome him home. He wrapped her in a tight embrace, breathing in her scent. It was so good to be home.

"How was your day?" she asked, wriggling free of his arms and heading back into the kitchen. She came back holding a chilled bottle of beer which she handed to him before directing him to the couch. Since becoming pregnant she'd been taken out of the field, much to her dismay. The last few nights had been exactly like this one. Her sitting him down, getting him comfortable and then asking a million and one questions about all things S.H.I.E.L.D, but in turn, she spilled the office gossip. She missed it greatly, and at the moment Steve was her only source of information.

"Eh, you know how it is. BS here, BS there, unravelled a nation-wide conspiracy. The usual. Stark and Clint have been deployed to shut it down. Should be taken care of within the hour."

"I wish I was sent to take care of it within the hour," she grumbled under her breath.

"I know you do, honey," he said softly. "But you know it's better for you and the baby this way. How would you feel if something happened to you out there? You'd never forgive yourself if something happened to the baby because you were feeling particularly reckless."

"Yeah, I know. It just sucks. I hate sitting around here doing nothing. I hate having that stupid office job. Who wants to plan the missions? I want to be the one completing the missions!"

"I know," he said again. He hated seeing her like this. He wanted nothing more than to help her, but they both knew that there was nothing he could do. There was no way Fury or Hill was going to put a pregnant Natasha back in the field just because she was feeling useless. They'd laugh me out of the room. And personally, he felt a lot more comfortable with her at the 'stupid office job' even if it meant she was temporarily miserable.

"But remember, this isn't forever. It won't be long and you'll be back as the Black Widow. For now though, you have to put the mission aside and focus on yourself and the baby."

"Thanks, Steve. You always know what to say to make me feel better." He responded by planting a kiss on her head. "I'm going to go and finish dinner." With that she heaved herself off the couch, pushing Steve away as he tried to help her. He sat back in defeat, accepting that this is how it was always going to be. The fearless Black Widow needed no man. He didn't know what he was going to do if this baby was a girl. He could already see her as being exactly like her mother. They'd decided they didn't want to know the gender of the baby until it was born. He was starting to regret that decision a little bit.

Later that evening, Steve had been temporarily called back into the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters to sit in on the mission debrief from Clint and Tony, leaving Natasha once again alone in Steve's apartment. They'd decided a while ago that they should start house-hunting, as they'd both agreed that they didn't want to raise their child in the city. There was just too much potential danger, and they'd been looking to get out of the city anyway. After all the craziness in their lives they were looking for some peace and quiet. A calm, peaceful environment for their child. Away from all the evil and terror that seemed to consume the rest of the world. By that logic they'd also be closer to Clint and his family. Suddenly in the mood, she grabbed her laptop from the kitchen counter and settled in on the couch with a mug of herbal tea. She started her search in the suburbs, and then slowly spread out, ending in the country side. Just seeing the houses online was enough to mesmerise her. They were in the middle of nowhere. Hidden by trees, concealed with a long driveway and a gate, no one, nothing for miles. It looked and sounded absolutely perfect. She couldn't wait for Steve to get back so that she could show him, and tell him all about the perfect life she could picture in her head. It made her giddy with excitement. As Steve had been telling her for months now, it was nice to see her so happy about the future. And she was, she really was so excited for their new life with their new child. Secretly, she was hoping it was a boy, and she thought Steve was too. Neither of them would know what to do with a girl.

Just as she was about to turn in for the night, she heard the jingle of keys in the door. She stood from the couch just as Steve opened the door. He looked tired.

"Well that took longer than expected," she said as he came to her.

"Clearly you've never had to sit through a debrief with Stark and Barton arguing over every little detail," he said with a groan.

"That bad, huh?"

"Oh believe me, it was worse," he said. "You could smell the competition between them. Who had taken out the most guys, who had the better plan of attack."

"Surely it was your plan they followed?"

"Yeah well they weren't interested in hearing that, were they? And besides Stark improvised most of it anyway… Jerk."

"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." She understood, she'd had to sit through her fair share of unpleasant debriefs. She aided by giving his broad shoulders a massage, having to really dig so as to get actually have any effect. Suddenly, a little chuckle escaped from Steve's lips.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Your stomach was pressed against my back, I could feel the baby kicking," he said, a smile had lit up his face as he turned to face her. They shared a loving look as he placed his hands over hers on her stomach.

"That is kinda funny," she said. "Whoa, it's really moving in there."

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" he asked, suddenly concerned as he saw her decrease in comfort.

"No, it's okay, I'll be okay. Nothing I haven't experienced before."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, sweetie, I promise I'm fine. I was actually about to go to bed just as you got home."

"You have no idea how good that sounds right now," Steve said, gathering her empty mug and laptop. He placed the mug in the sink and her laptop on its charger. He walked back into the living room to find Natasha struggling to get off the couch.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm fine," she said as she struggled for the third time. "I don't need help, I'm fine."

"Honey, you're not fine. Don't feel that just because you're Black Widow that you need to be strong all the time. You're carrying another person _inside_ of you. You're allowed to be vulnerable."

"No! I refuse to be vulnerable!" she cried as Steve tried to help her for a second time. She swatted his arms away, settling back on the couch. This was way different from her usual mood swings.

"Nat, what's going on?"

She sniffed, blinking back tears. "It's stupid. Me and my stupid pride ruining what's meant to be the best time of our lives. I can't accept the fact that I need to rely on you now that I'm pregnant. I hate it. I feel so… Weak." He knelt in front of her, astonished at what she thought of herself.

"Natasha, pregnant or not you will always be the strongest person I know. You'll always be the infamous Black Widow. Nothing will ever change that. So you're off your feet for a few months, a year at the most. That's not a big deal. No one will think any less of you for taking some time to carry and then have a child. To bring a new life into the world. Everyone is here to support you. You just have to be willing to let them in. And besides, there is no way in hell that I'm going to stand by and let you do this by yourself just because you think you can. Whether you want my help or not you're gonna get it." Natasha was stunned into silence at the end of his monologue. Tears stung her eyes as she looked at the man she loved.

"I love you," she said as Steve sat back on the couch. "Thank you."

"I love you too," he said lovingly. His voice was soft, almost a whisper as he tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "Now can we please go to bed?"

"Yes, of course," she said, this time, letting Steve help her off the couch. With that, Steve then bundled her into his arms and carried her upstairs to their bedroom. He made sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed before climbing in the other side. After no more than a few minutes he felt Natasha snuggle up to his side. She loved cuddling with Steve. She always felt so safe. They could have been in the middle of nowhere, on the brink of death, but she would always feel safe wrapped in his arms. Even in her current state, Steve had said that there was nothing he enjoyed more than the feel of her hugging him back. He claimed there was just more of her to love. She knew it was complete BS to make her feel more at ease, but it did more than that. It reminded her that no matter the time or place or situation, he would always love her. And it reinforced the fact that she too would always love him. She felt her eyes close, and let the feel of Steve' beating heart send her off to sleep.


	2. Pregnancy Blues

**Pregnancy Blues:**

As much as Natasha loved Steve, Jesus sometimes she could just whack him. Just because she'd mentioned _one time_ that she didn't feel as sexy as she used to now that she was pregnant, he'd been tirelessly throwing himself at her. It was cute at first. That he was going to such lengths to make her feel better as he often did, but after a solid three weeks of attempted romance when she was just too pregnant to care, was driving her insane.

"I'm going to take a shower," she'd said, heading upstairs the night before.

"Mm, want me to join you?" Steve asked slyly from the couch.

"Hon, there's barely enough room for me in that shower, I don't know how you're going to fit in there too."

"Good point, but I'll be waiting for you when you get out."

"Okay, darling, okay."

At this stage in time she was eight months along, and wanted nothing more than for it to be over. For this little baby to just get out of her. Even though she was absolutely ecstatic to be having a baby with the man that she loved with all of her heart, the simplest of tasks were becoming ridiculously impossible, and she was just too tired to do anything other than lounge around the apartment all day. It was a Saturday. It was nine in the morning and the two were having breakfast together at the kitchen counter.

"What have you got on today?" Natasha asked as she delicately ate the pancakes that Steve had prepared for her. He'd been so busy with work he mustn't have heard her say that just the smell of pancakes made her stomach churn, let alone eating them. But he'd gone to such an effort that she couldn't find it in herself to tell him. She figured that by talking a lot she wouldn't have to eat and therefore wouldn't hurt his feelings.

"A bit," he answered, shovelling in his pancakes without a care in the world. "Some meetings, a one-on-one with Fury and then I'm heading to Quebec with the rest of the team to bring downsome particularly nasty arms dealers."

"Is it weird that I'm jealous of that?"

"A little, babe," he said with a smirk. "But I still love you."

"Well thank _God_ for that. I love you too."

"Right, I'd better be off," Steve said, standing from the counter to place his plate and coffee mug in the sink. "And remember, you'd better not have this kid without me, I will never forgive you." He said with another smirk as he came back over and planted a kiss on her lips.

"I'm still over a month away! But yes, yes I promise to not have the baby without you."

"Thank you. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you too, Steve. Please be safe."

"I always am." They both knew that was a lie. Both of them knew that Captain America would always do anything to keep his team safe, even if it meant putting himself in harm's way, and that Black Widow would always do whatever it took to get the mission done, despite her own personal safety. But nevertheless it was a lie they told to put each other at ease. It was almost a second way of saying they loved each other. After another kiss goodbye, he was out the door. Though now that he was gone she could throw out the pancakes and resist the urge to vomit all over the floor. Instead, she waddled into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. Just that was exhausting. Steve tried to understand, but unfortunately he just couldn't. She'd found herself talking to Laura a lot, Clint's wife about her pregnancy finding that she was going through a lot of the same things. Sometimes it was just for reassurance that she could actually do it, and that everything was going to be okay. Although she'd made sure that Laura was sworn to secrecy. The last thing she wanted was her husband or her best friend finding out how insecure she was about becoming a mother. Whenever they'd talked about it Steve was always so excited, and never tired of telling her how excited he was to become a father and raise a child with her. It was mainly because she'd never had a family, never had loving parents or siblings. She'd been forced to put her feelings and emotions on ice a long time ago, and even Steve had struggled to knock her walls down when they first got together. Her main concern was that she was still somewhat adjusting to how much she loved Steve, and how vulnerable she was when it came to that love. Could she handle being so emotionally attached to _two_ people? She also felt slightly guilty that she may not love the baby as much as Steve did. That may have just been her mind playing tricks on her, but it had still become a genuine concern of hers. Over the last few months if she ever got especially nervous she just placed her hands on her stomach, the baby's movements were often enough to calm her down. If it got really bad she called Laura or Clint, and then she called Steve. She called him last because she knew the second he detected that something wasn't absolutely perfect he'd abandon everything and come running to make sure she was okay. In their line of work that was a bit difficult to do five times a day and the last thing she wanted was to be a burden.

To keep her nerves at bay she decided to go for a walk. She would've gone for a run but that was a bit impossible. She felt good as she slipped on the only shoes that would contain her swollen feet and fetched a wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses. She tucked her phone into her back pocket and some cash into her front pocket in case she saw something she liked, or got in the mood for a snack. The latter was most likely as she hadn't been able to finish her breakfast. And when she didn't feel nauseas she was consuming food left, right and centre. Almost as much as her serum-enhanced husband which was saying something.

As she was walking, she had her hands placed contently on her stomach, accepting smiles as passers-by noticed her stomach and the 'glow of motherhood' and all crap. After only twenty minutes she could feel herself starting to tire, so after a few more blocks stopped at one of Steve's favourite cafés. He'd introduced her to it the day after she'd properly moved in, so excited that they could start learning each other's quirks and routines. Natasha had been a bit hesitant at first, but had gradually opened up to him. Now he knew her movements like the back of his hand.

Inside the café she was sitting on a plush sofa by the window, basking in the mid-morning sunlight. She had ordered an iced tea and a plate of shortbread. It had been _ages_ since she'd eaten shortbread. It was heavenly. As she sipped the last of her beverage, she leant back against the cushions, drinking in the day.

That was, until she felt a sharp pain in her side. Trying not to panic, she just shifted. After the pain didn't cease, she shifted again, and again, and again.

"Excuse me, are you alright?" Natasha opened her eyes to see a few of the wait staff surrounding her. Worried expressions covered their faces as they tried to determine whether she was in real trouble or not.

"Yes, yes, I should be fine," she said, trying not to draw attention to herself.

"Are you sure? You don't look too good," one of them said.

"I promise, I'm-" her speech was cut off by a sharp burst of pain that seemed to shoot from her stomach all the way to the top of her head.

"Okay, ma'am, you might be going into labour. We're going to call an ambulance. Do you have anyone that you'd like us to call for you?" Natasha quickly did the calculations in her head. Steve would be in the middle of a meeting, she couldn't disturb him now. She knew that Clint was currently off preparing for the team's mission later on that day, couldn't disturb him either. Laura!

"Yes, please call Laura Barton. Her number is in here," she said, as she heaved her phone out of her back pocket. "Tell her to meet me at the hospital and to not call Steve under _any_ circumstances." She gave a nod of approval as her message was relayed to Laura. Within ten minutes the ambulance screeched to a stop outside the café. Paramedics swarmed in, clearing a path for a stretcher.

"Okay, can you tell me your name," a female paramedic began, seating herself next to Natasha. Another paramedic wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her arm, as another checked her pupils and basic responses.

"Natasha."

"Okay, Natasha. Tell me what happened."

"Everything was fine," Natasha panted, the pain continuing to increase. "Then all of a sudden I got this terrible pain! But I can't be in labour, it's too early!"

"Natasha, we're going to take you to the hospital now. Have you called your partner? A friend?" All she could do was nod.

Natasha was helped off the sofa by at least five different people. She was carefully placed, and then laid down on the stretcher before being wheeled out of the café. As she was loaded into the ambulance she felt utterly ridiculous. What a spectacle. What _drama_. She covered her face with her hands as the doors were closed, and the ambulance pulled away from the curb. The trip to the hospital wasn't rushed, or panicked, as the paramedics had realised it was just a pregnant woman probably freaking out over nothing instead of someone bleeding out on the sidewalk.

"How are we doing, Natasha?"

"Mmph, not much better," she said through clenched teeth as another wave of pain tore through her entire body. Now that she was at the hospital she hoped she was actually in labour because there was no way in hell that she was going to go through this a second time a few weeks later.

Without wasting much time Natasha was unloaded from the ambulance and wheeled inside the hospital. Laura was there waiting for her.

"Oh, thank God! Natasha!" she called from where she'd been sitting, and visibly stewing.

"Laura! Thank you so much for coming," Natasha said weakly. She was wheeled down a few corridors, each turn causing new pain.

Three hours later, the pain was gone. Laura and a very sheepish Natasha had left the hospital after it was revealed the whole thing was a false alarm. She had wanted to scream in frustration. Her baby was messing with her. Unfortunately there was nothing she could do about it.

Later that evening, she was all tucked up in bed with a book and another mug of tea. Laura had stayed with her most of the day making sure that she didn't actually go into labour. Now that she was alone, she missed Steve. Today had been a rather scary experience, and she felt so stupid for not wanting to call him. These were the things that they were meant to go through together. As they'd agreed that when they first found out that Natasha was pregnant that work would from then on always come second. Their family would always come first. She wished so hard that he wasn't on a mission right now. She wanted him here, with her; so that he could hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. After today things did _not_ feel okay. She looked to her phone on her bedside table. She wanted nothing more than to call him. To tell him everything that had happened today. She realised it didn't matter whether she was embarrassed or not. This baby was his too. This was the sort of thing he'd _want_ to know. He'd said before how bad he felt that he couldn't be there for her all the time. She understood, of course. Their jobs were their lives. She checked her phone for the millionth time, just in case Steve had somehow found a spare moment to contact her. Of course there was nothing. She really shouldn't have been surprised. Not wanting to cause herself anymore disappointment, Natasha turned out the light and snuggled under the covers, praying that sleep would come quickly, and that her husband was safe.

Natasha was roused from her sleep during the night. The baby had kicked extra hard, causing her to sit up groaning, stretching, trying to find a new position that didn't hurt.

"Is everything okay?" She turned to find Steve lying on his stomach, face buried in his pillow. His words were muffled, but Natasha could make them out.

"When did you get home?" she asked, suddenly full of excitement.

"A few hours ago, you were already asleep and I didn't want to wake you." All that she could think about was the things she wanted to tell him.

"I assume the mission went well?"

"It was perfection. Even Stark behaved himself."

"Wow, it's almost as if the mission was planned to be completed earlier than you'd originally planned," she said. A smirk danced upon her lips, even though Steve couldn't see it, he could sense it. He was a little more awake now.

"What did you get up to today? I got a strange call from Laura, who sounded like she was about to tell me something but changed her mind mid-thought."

"Yeah... About that..."

"Nat, what happened today? Do I need to be worried?" he asked, turning to face her. His eyes were full of concern.

"No, of course you don't need to worry, everything turned out fine. I just had a little bit of pain... And ended up going to the hospital."

"The _hospital_? Why didn't you call me straight away? You promised me you wouldn't have this baby without me!"

"It was a false alarm, Steve. Relax, you didn't miss anything. Laura was there, everything worked out fine," she said, regretting opening this can of worms. He was now sitting as straight as an arrow, trying to gain composure so that he didn't totally lose it at his heavily pregnant wife.

"We made a deal, Nat. Work second. Work _always_ comes second. What if today hadn't been a false alarm? I would have missed the birth of _our_ child."

She sighed in defeat. "You're right. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Honestly, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to call you so badly, really, I did, but you were in a meeting or getting ready for the mission. I didn't want to mess with your head before going into the field. I didn't want to cloud your judgement."

He pulled her into his embrace as she began to cry. "It's okay, Nat. I'm sorry for getting upset. It's not your fault. It's _never_ your fault."

"I'm so glad you're home. And safe."

"Me too. I think I'm gonna ask Fury for a temporary desk job."

"What?"

"It's for the best. You won't be out of your mind with worry, and I'll be close by if anything happens."

"Steve, I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking. I'm telling. Remember what I said? It's only temporary. Only for a short while until we come up with a better way to balance everything. It'll be okay."

"I love you so, so much," Natasha said, relaxing back into Steve's arms. She felt so content here. All of her worries about the new baby and finding the right balance between work and home just melted away. She could almost see them floating out of the open window, and disappearing into the night.

"I love you too. And we're gonna be just fine. I promise."


End file.
